This Parents Journey

Kwai Chang Caine, so wise,
such an ass kicker!

"Billy, would you like to learn Kung Fu?", my mom asked.  We had just finished watching another episode of Kung Fu, starring David Carradine. Oh boy did I!!

Growing up in the 70s in the Bay Area of California, we all knew Martial Arts thanks to shows like Kung Fu and, of course, Bruce Lee whose training studios and fights in the bay area (Oakland and SF) are legendary.

A month or so later, mom had found me a place to start learning. I was 8 years old.  I would have to take the city bus on my own, however, because mom was a single mom and had to work.  This was a big deal.

For the next six months, I was Mr. Kung Fu.  I had awesome new pants (white martial arts pants dyed black because it was cheaper than the black pants), cool black shoes, and a loose top.  We didn't wear "belts" but the instructor had a sash.  I LOVED going.

Over time, however, for various reasons I'd miss a class here and then there, then another, and another, and then I simply stopped going.  However, the interest in this never faded and my life would always have some form of Martial Arts involved.  Looking back, it's easy to see why I stopped going and I would use this knowledge later as my daughters "Entered the Dragon."

For the next 30 some years of my life, fighting forms would have a place, just not the center place.  I wrestled throughout high school, as a varsity wrestler the entire time and finished up as a co-captain of the team.  While in the Army I was stationed in Korea, and took advantage of this to take Tae Kwon Do classes from a local master who would come on post throughout my assignment there.  In my 30s, I took up boxing and even hired a private coach, Del Smith, who also coached Vernon Forrest (4 time world champion).

The allure of moving the body, the timing, the strategy, the physics (I have a BS in Physics), the fitness, the challenge ... none of this would ever leave me ... but it would also never be my primary focus.  I'd practice in the garage, the shower, in my office, just whenever the mood would strike me.  Outside of the formal classes, there was never a formal plan. I just enjoyed doing this stuff.

My youngest, with her awesome
Sensi and Coach, Li Gonzalez, just
before a tournament match

This shifted for me when my eldest daughter was 6.  I had begun teaching her how to fight.  She loved to wrestle around, as many kids do, but I thought I might as well give her one hell of a right cross to take out any boy who messed with her.

It was while teaching her that I began to realize that, even with years of sincere interest and study, doing this on the side left a tremendous amount of gaps in my knowledge.  This gap could prove fatal (not trying to be dramatic here, just realistic) for my daughter. Yes, I could kick your head. Yes, I could do a fire-mans carry and put you down. Yes, I could throw a wicked fast jab-cross, but could I teach the art of fighting?  No.  Could I tailor to my daughters strengths and weaknesses?  No.  Time to learn ... but not for me, I had to learn more for her.

The result was finding the right martial arts academy for my girls (I have two ... I hit the lotto!!!).  Through a lot of trial and error, gobs of money, lots of research, interviews of other martial arts parents, and some seriously frank discussions with Martial Arts experts as well as Dojo Owners, I came to understand how to be a parent of a budding martial artist.  I had to figure out the right style of martial arts for our family, I had to figure out the right dojo for our family, I had to sift-through the BS masters out there, and I had to honestly figure out why I wanted my daughters to learn the art of fighting.

Through this on going journey I've become passionate about kids learning the fighting arts.  I've become a bit of a zealous evangelist in this regard, and this blog is one consequence. I'm not partial to any one particular system or style or philosophy, as they all have their strengths and weaknesses.  I'm simply interested in helping kids get the most out of an amazing experience, and I do this by helping other parents.